The Different Broodwich
by Mega DMX
Summary: After discovering a hole in their front lawn, Lynn found a sandwich. But's not an ordinary sandwich, this one is pure evil.


[Lana bust through the door as it spooked Lori, and Lynn. Usually it was Lucy that spooked them.]

 **Lana:** Guys, Guys, Guys!"

 **Lori:** What?! What's wrong?!"

 **Lana:** I was digging outside like I always do, then I discover a big hole! Come on!

They rush outside and were surprise that is big, I mean _really_ big.

 **Lana:** (staring down into the hole): Oh...I can't help but get this forbidding feeling that some bad stuff is about to happen (sees the pets inside) and I'm not the only one.

 **Lori:** (she looks at Lana) Oh will you stop being a baby Lana!? look Lynn and I will go there and show you there is nothing wrong, then will you fill the whole?

 **Lana:** Maybe?

 **Lori:** (taking that reply as a "yes"): Okay let's go Lynn!

 **Lynn:** (carrying a flashlight): Let's do this! (a bit later) Hoo! it's hot here!

 **Lori:** (carrying another flashlight): It's long and hot that's for sure but i don't see anything scary

 **Lynn:** Nah! not even a single...

they both have their flashlights see a pile of skulls

 **Both:** HOLY CRAP IN A PITA! MONSTERS!

 **Lynn:** LET ME OUT!

 **Lana:** (hearing their shrieks of terror from the outside): Oh, man it sounds like they're dying in there!

 **Lincoln:** What's going on out here?!

 **Lana:** Lori and Lynn are trap in that hole that I just discovered!

 **Lincoln:** Oh no!

 **Lynn:** We're going to die, we're going to die, we're going to die, we're going to die, we're going to die!

 **Lori:** WILL YOU SHUT UP! We're not going to die! So, keep head cool and focus on how we get out of here."

 **The Voice:** Taste.

 **Lynn:** Huh?

 **Lori:** I said "We're not going to die! So, keep head cool-.

 **Lynn:** Not that. You said "taste".

 **Lori:** I didn't say that.

 **The Voice:** Taste

 **Lynn:** Tell me you hear that?

 **Lori:** Oh yeah. I hear that.

 **The Voice** : Come to me and taste the future.

 **Lynn:** Taste what? Who the heck are you?

 **Lori:** (she looks down in front of Lynn's feet and notice something is there) Hey, where did that come from?"

 **Lynn:** Come from what? (she looks down) Hey, free sandwich. I call it first. (picking up the sandwich).

 **The Voice:** But beware.

 **Lynn:** But you just told me—

 **The Voice:** Look, I'm 1,000 years old, I know what I said. Beware.

 **Lynn:** Yeah, you beware. I'm eating this.

 **Lori:** You are not seriously going to eat that, are you?

 **Lynn:** Let me think…uh…Yes.

Lynn ate the sandwich and she was sent to a world with no answers.

 **Lynn:** Where the heck is this?

 **The Voice:** You'll know, in time. (laugh evilly)

 **Lynn:** (Scoffs) Whatever.

Back with the Louds.

 **Lincoln:** Lynn! Lori!

 **Lucy:** Hey, Lincoln.

Lincoln and Lana got spooked when Lucy came out of nowhere.

 **Lincoln:** Lucy, stop doing that!

 **Lucy:** Why? It's fun. Where did this hole come from?

 **Lincoln:** Lana found it while digging. Lori and Lynn went down there to check it out but their stuck down there.

 **Lucy:** Then, we should get them out.

Lucy went down the hole.

 **Lincoln:** Lucy, wait! (he followed her)

 **Lucy:** Wicked.

 **Lincoln:** Oh my God! Lori!

 **Lori:** Guys!

She rushes to them and hug them.

 **Lincoln:** Where's Lynn?

 **Lori:** I don't know what just happen. Lynn found a sandwich, she ate it, and then she disappeared.

 **Lincoln:** Oh no Lynn.

Lynn returns from another world.

 **Lynn:** Oh no what?

 **Everyone:** Lynn!

They hug Lynn.

 **Lori:** You're okay!

 **Lynn:** Of course, I'm okay. Why wouldn't I be.

 **Lucy:** (looking at the skulls) Where are all these skulls come from?

 **Lynn:** Their guarding the sandwich. Now, let's head back up.

 **Lucy:** Oh my God! That is no ordinary sandwich, Lynn.

 **Lynn** : Oh my God, Lucy? Will you just chill out, it's a free sandwich.

 **Lucy:** It's not a sandwich at all, Lynn. IT'S THE BROODWICH.

[dramatic music]

 **Lana:** The blue witch?

 **Lucy:** No, the Broodwich Lana, Broodwich.

 **Lana:** Wait... wait, say what?

 **Lucy:** BROODWICH!

 **Lana:** Cool! The Blair Witch is here?!

 **Lucy:** Sigh. No Lana, the Brood..WICH!

 **Lynn:** I'll tell you what it is friends. It's shut up and let me eat it.

 **Lucy** : [explaining how he's heard of the broodwich] I read a very disturbing article about this sandwich in...the Bible.

 **The Voice:** No, you probably saw our piece in Vogue?

 **Lucy** : I doubt it, I don't read that...

 **The Voice** : Heidi Klum was on the cover. You know, the Broodwich issue.

 **Lucy** : Okay, yes. It was Vogue.

 **Lynn** : You read all this in VOGUE!?

 **The Voice:** Our PR department is awesome.

 **Lynn** : [laughed] That's a magazine for other type of girls! I hope you were at the doctor, Lucy!

 **Lucy:** [embarrassed] I... It just comes to the house.

 **Lynn** : Sure, it was, sis!

Lynn, Lori, and Lana started laughing at Lucy. She blushes of her embarrassment.

 **Lincoln:** Hey, knock it off you guys!"

They silent themselves.

 **Lucy:** Thank you, Lincoln. Listen, according to the Vogue piece, the Broodwich is immortal. It cannot be killed or taken apart but as long as you don't ingest it, you'll be okay.

 **Lynn:** (she eats the sandwich) What, I wasn't even listening.

Lynn return to the other world. While she was eating, she saw a green stick man walking towards her

 **Lynn:** How's it going? Are you the guy that keeps telling me to beware? Because I'll tell you where to be. Out of my sight.

 **The Voice:** Beware.

 **Lynn:** What you got? A sound guy or

The green stick man pull out his axe and swifty cut off his leg making Lynn feel unnerving.

 **Lynn:** That's a good trick. I'm just gonna go now. Oh, my God.

Lynn return home just before the stick man could kill her.

 **Lynn:** (with her eyes close) Get away from me! Leave me! (she opens her eyes) I'm cool. Yeah, we're all cool here.

 **The Voice:** I told you, beware.

 **Lynn:** Who are you? What is this?

 **The Voice:** It is the Broodwich. Forged in darkness from wheat harvested in Hell's half-acre. Baked by Beelzebub. Slathered with mayonnaise from the evil eggs of dark chicken forces beaten into sauce by the hands of a one-eyed madman. Cheese boiled from the rancid teat of a fanged cow. Layered with 666 separate meats from an animal, which has maggots for BLOOD!

 **Lucy** : See? Told ya.

 **Lucy:** [pause] I tasted mustard.

 **The Voice:** ...Yeah, Dijon mustard.

 **Lynn:** How come no bacon?

 **The Voice** : Bacon is extra!

 **Lynn:** You call this a sandwich and you don't even have bacon on it!

 **The Voice:** There are no swine evil enough to be sacrificed upon a bed of evil! … And lettuce. Bed of evil and lettuce!

 **Lynn:** Bacon aside this is the best dang sandwich I've ever had in my life.

 **The Voice:** Eat all of it, and you will suffer the wrath.

 **Lynn:** I mean, I don't have to eat the whole thing. I could save a quarter.

 **The Voice:** I suppose you could.

 **Lynn** : 'Cause the thing is, I don't like crust on the bread. A lot of people do, but not me. I usually cut it off right at the beginning, especially if it's hard. The hard crust hurts the roof of my mouth.

 **The Voice:** (groan) You're boring me now.

 **Lucy:** Say, since he's the chosen one and we're not could we sort of cover this back up?

 **The Voice:** Sure.

 **Lucy:** Okay. Come on, Lynn. You're gonna die. (grab the sandwich out of her hands)

 **Lynn:** Hey.

 **Lana:** Who are y'all talking to down there?

Later, Lynn is sitting on the couch watching football on sports channel. Lynn already tap The Broodwich on the ceiling so she won't get it.

 **Lynn** : It's a sandwich. Two pieces of bread and some meat. And it doesn't even have bacon on it. I don't need it, I got it licked. (she looks at the broodwich on the ceiling as her mouth got watery) And I would like to lick that sandwich. Just a little flavor, a little taste in my mouth.

 **The Voice:** What's going on?

 **Lincoln** : Lynn, get rid of that stupid sandwich. If you keep it here, you're gonna eat it and die.

 **Lynn** : No, I won't. I don't need a stupid sandwich. I don't need the sandwich. (she grabs the ladder) I need this ladder. Excuse me, please. I need this sandwich right now. I won't eat the whole thing. (she ate and was sent back to the other world) See? Oh, God! (she returns home just before he could kill her again) Okay, look, this is irritating.

 **Lucy:** It's the broodwich. You're chosen.

 **Lynn:** I broke Mr. Grouse's window serval times. I'm not getting busted by a sandwich.

 **The Voice:** Then you must find another with an appetite for insanity.

 **Lynn: (scoffs)** Like we're going to find someone dumb enough to eat this.

 **Leni: (she returns home)** Hey, guys. I'm back from the mall. Oh, a sandwich. You guys made it for me. Thank you so much. (she smiles as she takes the sandwich).

 **Lori, Lincoln, Lucy, Lynn, and Lana:** NO, LENI!

Leni ate it and disappeared.

 **Lana:** She's…gone.

 **Lynn:** Oh, god, Leni! What have I done! She's DEAD because of me!

Leni returns

 **Lynn:** Leni! Thank god you're okay! Did Mr. Stick hurt you?

 **Leni:** Hurt me? Oh, no Jerry's a really nice guy, I mean, once you get to know him.

 **Lynn:** What?! When I was there, he was trying to kill me with his axe.

 **Leni:** Nah, that don't sound like Jerry. Now, the Jerry I know took me to fancy restaurant. *sigh* I'm in love with him even though we only just meet.

 **Lynn:** I like to see it myself.

Lynn quickly eats the Broodwich and been sent to another world

 **Lori:** Wow, so you're saying it was fun?

 **LenI:** Totally. I told Jerry that Lynn is on her way.

 **Lincoln:** Oh crud.

[Cut to hell, where Lynn appears next to two stick-men]

 **Jerry:** So, I don't know, she's like, "move your skulls to the basement, because I got these drapes" I didn't get that, I'm like, "honey this is work."

 **Stick Man 2:** Are you Serious?

 **Jerry:** I can't put 'em in the [bleep] basement, I mean, and she's like , you know, "can you put a tarp over them also?" And I just felt like...no...I'm not. God damn it.

 **Stick Man 2:** I got one at home just like it. And I got a kid now, and so…

 **Jerry:** That's a whole other set of bull[bleep], I'm sure.

 **Stick Man 2:** So Cathy puts the co-sleeper right next to my preserved brain collection and she wants me to move them cause she thinks it's not hygienic.

 **Jerry:** I don't understand how there's a lack of appreciation for that…backlight coming through the glass of the jars that the brains are in. I mean it just looks cool.

 **Stick Man 2:** You've seen that?

 **Jerry:** Why move it? That's the point of putting it next to the window.

 **Stick Man 2:** Right.

 **Jerry:** And I'm sure you've explained that to Cathy, but she obviously doesn't get that.

 **Stick Man 2** : Ya. Ya. There's no..Ya I can't even argue with her

 **Jerry:** Ughh. It's [bleep] ridiculous.

 **Stick Man 2:** If I want to move the bed… hey, isn't that that guy?

 **Lynn** : And what's with the toilet seat, right?

 **Jerry:** -Oh what the [bleep]!?

[Jerry begins to chase Lynn, wielding an axe]

 **Lynn:** Jerry, no! We're cool! We're cool, man!

[Lynn reappears from the other world.]

 **Lynn:** We're cool, Jerry.

 **Lincoln:** Lynn, where's the rest of the sandwich?

 **Lynn:** I guess I ate it. And I'm still here? - Victory is mine.

 **The Voice:** But what about the sun-dried tomatoes?

 **Lynn:** Yeah, I picked them off because they're disgusting.

 **The Voice:** The Broodwich cannot be taken apart or disassembled.

 **Lynn:** Obviously it can, because that's what I did.

 **The Voice:** You better put them right back.

 **Lynn:** Put them back where? I ate the sandwich. It's gone.

 **The Voice:** Look. They're good.

 **Lynn** : Yeah, you keep telling me that. They're not.

 **The Voice:** How about you five?

 **Lori:** No thanks.

 **Lana:** I'm good

 **Lincoln:** Me too, I'm full. (head upstairs)

 **Lucy:** I rather eat the broccoli then eating the sandwich. (she leaves the living room)

 **Leni:** I'll eat it.

 **Lori:** Leni, no! (she grabs her hand and take her to their room)

 **The Voice:** Fine! Don't eat it!

Lynn returns watching T.V. as Lana stay in the living room with her.

 **Lana:** Is he gone? –

 **Lynn:** I don't know, he's a voice.

 **Lana:** Where is he? Is he in them tomatoes?

 **Lynn:** I don't know!

 **Lana:** (began to leave) I'm out of here. Worst day of my life.

Lana returns when The Voice plays the victory music as balloons and confetti drops down.

 **The Voice:** Congratulations. You passed the test. You fended off the last temptation of the Broodwich.

 **Lynn: (** squealed of joy) Really?! What did I win?!

 **The Voice:** Cancellation.

 **Lynn:** (cheered) All right! Wait wha-

The chapter end on a black screen.

* * *

See ya next time.


End file.
